Fox News Gets a Sex Column

It’s official: Fox News has a sex column.

If you like to be fair and balanced when you get down and dirty, Fox on Sex… serves no purpose.

Seriously.

Recent columns have included The Mile High Club… and Beyond, which was basically speculation on what sex on a plane might be like from a woman who has never done it. The author also suggests having sex in a handicapped bathroom (which only sounds sexy to those who’ve never tried it), “the back of dark clubs,” and (seriously) “alleyways” (which sounds great if you’re looking to get raped/step on a junkie’s used needle). Or, if you really wanna get freaky, Fox has a scandalous suggestion for local: the living room floor. “Is your mother-in-law scheduled to arrive today or tomorrow? And did she ever return that key?” If this is how parents get their thrills, we never want to hit middle age.

If a change of scenery isn’t your thing, check out Talk Dirty to Me: Decoding What Your Lover Is Sayinghttp://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,591264,00.html?sPage=fnc/health/sexualhealth/foxonsex for some really great insight. For example, did you know that when she screams, “Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”, she really means, “Please continue doing exactly what you are doing without changing the tempo or pressure.” I’m sure our male readers have been wondering about that one for ages! But what if you’re partner’s really freaky? Like, what if she says, “I think the kids are asleep by now... I locked the door.” Spoiler alert: she wants to bone!

Read the rest at your own risk…