In discussions we’ve had with our readers after this morning’s post, we’ve come up with something we failed to mention before.
Our main problem with Dr. Benzer’s article is that it confuses intelligence with ambition. The hypothetical woman he describes in his article is very ambitious, but it’s not clear that she meets the conventional definition of “smart” (i.e., naturally intelligent and very well educated).
And while Dr. Benzer neatly outlines the problems faced by cutthroat business types, he doesn’t really touch on the problems faced by intellectual women.
If you can’t help but contextualize every film you see, and you like to spend the post-movie drink breaking it down scene by scene, it’s hard to date people who can’t keep up.
And so the real problem smart women face, in our opinion, is that they either spend too much time rubbing their obscure degrees in men’s faces, or they play dumb.
And neither solution is very effective.
Showing posts with label alex benzer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alex benzer. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
News Roundup: Why Do Smart Women Have the Toughest Time Dating
The other day, a reader sent us this Huffington Post article: Why Do Smart Women Have the Toughest Time Dating.
It’s a good read, especially for the overly ambitious DC types, but the author leaves out one important trap smart women sometimes fall into the dating world: faking dumb.
It goes something like this: a woman thinks that men are more attracted to dumb bimbos, or she’s worried about scaring off a date with a less impressive resume, so she puts on this fake ditzy persona every time she goes out with a guy.
Why do women do this? Because they always see their attractive, successful male coworkers show up to the holiday party with Bambi, the personal trainer.
And while a lot of guys do date women who are more attractive than they are intelligent, when smart women get frustrated and decide it’s time to be more like the hot, dumb women who get ass, the smart women pick the wrong trait to emulate.
Guys like these women because they’re hot, not because they’re dumb. The unintelligence is the (minor) downside, it’s not the thing they’re attracted to.
Faking dumb isn’t going to attract a man. That’s like a guy watching Twilight and thinking it’s the fangs that make Robert Pattinson so irresistible to women.
What’s worse, faking dumb could hurt your chances of a relationship.
Remember, for a lot of guys, relationships and sex are two different things. The former requires putting in work, the latter delivers pleasure in its purest form.
When a guy wants sex, all he needs is a vagina. But when he wants a relationship, he needs a little bit more.
So if you pretend to have less, you’re not going to fall into the “relationship” category. Why would he invest time and energy in someone who can’t hold an intelligent conversation?
It’s a good read, especially for the overly ambitious DC types, but the author leaves out one important trap smart women sometimes fall into the dating world: faking dumb.
It goes something like this: a woman thinks that men are more attracted to dumb bimbos, or she’s worried about scaring off a date with a less impressive resume, so she puts on this fake ditzy persona every time she goes out with a guy.
Why do women do this? Because they always see their attractive, successful male coworkers show up to the holiday party with Bambi, the personal trainer.
And while a lot of guys do date women who are more attractive than they are intelligent, when smart women get frustrated and decide it’s time to be more like the hot, dumb women who get ass, the smart women pick the wrong trait to emulate.
Guys like these women because they’re hot, not because they’re dumb. The unintelligence is the (minor) downside, it’s not the thing they’re attracted to.
Faking dumb isn’t going to attract a man. That’s like a guy watching Twilight and thinking it’s the fangs that make Robert Pattinson so irresistible to women.
What’s worse, faking dumb could hurt your chances of a relationship.
Remember, for a lot of guys, relationships and sex are two different things. The former requires putting in work, the latter delivers pleasure in its purest form.
When a guy wants sex, all he needs is a vagina. But when he wants a relationship, he needs a little bit more.
So if you pretend to have less, you’re not going to fall into the “relationship” category. Why would he invest time and energy in someone who can’t hold an intelligent conversation?
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