Using Fashion to Attract Men

We recently succumbed to a pretty innocuous impulse buy: blue nail polish.

We tried it out one week, and, to our surprise, almost every male we came in touch with—young, old, and ambiguously in between—commented on it.

We always assumed guys were oblivious when it came to things like cosmetics for fingernails, but men noticed it, literally (on one occasion) from across the room.

This struck us as strange—especially since we’ve posted before about men being turned off by funky fashions (like the foreheadband).

And when we worked up the nerve to ask the guys about it, they all shrugged their shoulders and responded with some variation on “I dunno. It’s cool.”

It turns out that subtle, slightly subversive accessories might be great conversation starters. It’s almost like men are attracted to shiny objects—they seem to be intrigued by things that jump out at them.

But we’re still not advocating trendy-for-the-sake-of-being-trendy pick-up outfits. In fact, the trendier it is, the less likely it is to catch a guy’s attention. They’ve seen forheadbands before. And they still look ridiculous.

But guys sometimes see blue nail polish, boyish narrow-brimmed hats, and other unexpected fashion statements as a sign of a hidden wild streak. And that’s exactly what guys fantasize about: a woman who comes off as cool and composed in public, but then really lets loose during sex (the lady in the street, freak in the bed).

Conversation Starter

It’s always good to have an arsenal of good conversations, especially when you’re trying to chat up a cute guy. We in no way advocate spending any time on this, but we’ll do the dirty work for you today.

If you sit at home dreaming up potential conversations, you’ll look desperate when it comes time to use them, and you’ll waste so much otherwise valuable time.

But the following video is already viral (check any hipster’s Facebook profile), and it’s worth loading onto your phone before you go out this weekend. If the conversation gets stuck, ask the guy you’re talking to if he’s heard of K-Strass. And if he hasn’t, be sure to share this gem with him.

Thursday News Roundup: 10 Great Guy Movies A Gal Can Earn Serious Points For Loving

The Frisky has some awesome advice on how to score your next boyfriend: fake an interest in male-oriented movies!

This is almost as brilliant as pretending to like sports, except better because you get high school intern writer Kelli Bender’s insightful analysis into movies that are actually awesome and not specifically targeted at either gender.

The Big Lebowski? Lets guys vicariously live their ultimate fantasy (becoming The Dude, not driving a fancy car, banging hot women, or, oh, anything else that most guys fantasize about) “while also delivering a naked Julianne Moore [and] ball jokes!” Oh—and don’t forget the “dynamite dialogue” (notice the alliteration???)!

The Godfather? “You are risking social scorn is [sic] you go on with life having not [sic-ish] seen it.” Why? “It is an important and excellent film that also features Diane Keaton looking young and fabulous.”

Goodfellas? “As with most Martin Scorsese movies, there is also an awesome soundtrack.” But the best part of the movie? “It is also amusing to see that even crime overlords can get put in their place by their wives.”

Field of Dreams? The film also shows men that no matter how old they get, or how lost they feel, extraordinary things can still happen.” Ms. Bender then goes on to refer to Field of Dreams as a “film” and urges you to watch your movie with your guy (wait, wasn’t this supposed to help you meet guys?) , because it might give you the chance to see him cry! (Sexy!)

The Usual Suspects? “It is a man-powered mystery full of suspense, swear words, and scheming.” And you’ll like it because, “It also has Kevin Spacey doing what he does best—being an amazing actor/human being.”

Ms. Bender’s skill as a film critic aside, this is actually a horrible way to meet guys. That’s because most straight guys are actually looking to date girls, not guys.

If a guy wanted to date someone who locked himself in his room for March Madness, drank beer, and enjoyed a good fart joke, he’d date one of his guy friends. After all, a girl pretending to like all these things is just a watered-down version of an actual male.

We’ve talked about this before: guys are better than we are at separating friendship from sexual desire.So if you buy season tickets to The Nationals, he might think you’re the coolest girl he’s met, but you’re still going to be his coolest girl (space) friend.

If a guy finds a girl who behaves exactly like a guy, he’s going to treat her like a guy. He’ll befriend her, but he won’t necessarily try to sleep with her.

Besides, when you spend too much time pretending to be something you’re not (i.e., a sports/guy-movie fanatic), you ooze self-consciousness, and guys are more attracted to girls that are confident and secure in who they are. Yes, that sounds like cheesy advice your mom gave you when you told her 16 was too old to still be carrying a pink lunchbox to school, but it’s also true.

When you act like the real you isn’t worth showing, people can pick up on that. And they assume that the real you isn’t worth knowing. But when a guy sees a girl walk into the bar with a pink lunchbox like she owns the place, he unconsciously picks up on her body language, which tells his brain, “This girl is HOT!”

So if you want to attract a guy, tell him that you think Field of Dreams is about male athletes’ latent homosexual desires.

OK, maybe don’t take it that far, but you get the point.

How to Talk to Guys

Spring brings more opportunities to socialize: outdoor happy hours, rooftop parties, drunken kickball games.

There’s an increase in eligible bachelors in close proximity, but how do you increase your chances of hitting it off with one of them?

Most guys will tell you that the more attention you give a girl, the easier it is to bring her home at the end of the night.

A similar strategy can win guys over as well. They might not be as easily swayed by attention alone, but you can make a good impression with a great conversation.

The more favorably a guy remembers a conversation with you, the more likely he’ll be to remember you in favorable terms.

People associate feelings with the situations surrounding those sentiments. When the guy looks back on the conversation, he’ll think, I enjoyed talking to her, therefore, I must enjoy her.

But how do you guarantee a good conversation? It’s actually much easier than you’d think.

You capitalize on two things that people love: talking about themselves and hearing their own names.

We all love talking about ourselves, but we also recognize that manners and basic social norms punish people for making themselves the number one topic of conversation. (Like the friends you avoid because they only talk about themselves.)

A skilled conversationalist makes someone forget that he’s committing a social taboo by engaging him on his favorite subject: himself.

But you don’t want to pounce on a guy and start interrogating him immediately after exchanging names (i.e., asking “What’s your favorite color? What do you do? Where do you live? How many siblings do you have?” before the guy can get a word in edgewise).

Here’s how it works: let the conversation develop naturally at first. But when you hit on something interesting/unique, start asking questions. You want him to feel like an expert in a subject that happens to fascinate you.

So let’s say he mentions that he studied archeology in college. Casually ask him what digs are like. Avoid yes or no questions, and, if you’re really stuck, ask him to explain something complicated (and give him the opportunity to show off useless knowledge).

Again, avoid interrogation. Really listen to what he’s saying—don’t use his response as an opportunity to think up the next unrelated question. Pause after his response, and briefly turn the spotlight on you (i.e., say I/me a couple of times) before asking another question. So if he says, “Yeah, the financial crisis has really hit the archeology industry pretty hard,” say something like, “Yeah, I was really into those Indian Jones movies when I was little, but I feel like their jobs were totally unrealistic. But even with a degree from such a great school [a little flattery never hurts], it’s still hard?”

But don’t turn the conversation back to you. Don’t use his aside as a segue to make it all about you. Keep the focus on him.

If a friend comes up to you, introduce your new companion—and use his name. People love hearing the sound of their own names, and while you don’t want to overdo it (i.e., don’t drop his name in one-on-one conversation--unless you're trying to channel your inner used car salesman), make sure to use his name in place of pronouns whenever you can.

But don’t spend the entire night with him either. After a half-hour conversation, excuse yourself and go mingle. Leave him wanting more, and let him come up to you to continue the conversation.