How to Be Sexy Part 2

Yesterday, we talked about ways to sex up your first impression. Today, we’re going to go over one simple tip for leaving a lasting impression on men: physical contact.

No one likes to have his personal space invaded, but a little strategic touching can amp up the sexual chemistry he feels whenever you’re in the room.

The key is subtlety. Don’t grab his crotch after you shake his hand. Start of slowly, and if you sense any discomfort, back off. If he pulls back, angles his body away from you, crosses his arms in front of him, or does anything else that seems designed to minimize physical contact, stop.

Start with his arm. When he says something funny, rest your hand on his forearm while you laugh, but pull it back as soon as you’re done. If you’re standing up and need to maneuver around him, put your hand on his back or shoulder to gently nudge him out of the way. If you’re introducing him to someone else, put your hand on his bicep when you say, “This is Mark.”

The goal is to work your way up to ONE thigh-grab towards the end of the night. But you can’t grab his upper leg, lower your voice, and say something like, “Wanna come back to my place?” You have to briefly rest your hand on his leg while saying something totally innocent and desexualized, like, “It was really great meeting you!” or “Let’s talk more about this next time.” Keep your tone naïve and earnest. Everything but the physical contact should be devoid of all sexual connotations. Don’t lean in close, arch your eyebrows, or pull out your best pouty face. Touch him for a second, and then pull back.

When it comes to touching, less is more, but the more physical contact you can make without his noticing, the more lasting the impression you’ll leave.

How to Be Sexy

It’s easy to stand in a mirror and criticize your looks. For the most part, you can’t change what you’re born with, and you only have to step outside to see women whose bone structures and skin seem proof that they won the ovarian lottery.

But sexual attraction often comes down to the difference between “hot” and “sexy.” A hot girl might have blonde hair, giant boobs, and a perfectly symmetrical face, but if she wears it all with bad posture and unflattering clothes, it’s going to negate a lot of what she has going for her. A sexy woman, on the other hand, might have a plain face, but she knows how to work it.

You can be hot without being sexy, and sexy without being hot. But, given the choice, most guys would pick sexy over Barbie.

Being sexy is, for the most part, intangible. It encompasses things like confidence and sexuality that are too complicated to spell out in a single blog post.

But there are things you can do to up your sexyness factor, no matter what you were born with.

The single most tangible factor that determines sex appeal is probably the body. This doesn’t mean an emaciated, skeletal frame buried in layers of baggy clothing, but it does mean a little bit of muscle definition in your legs and butt.

We’re not saying you all need to rush out and join a gym—it could be as simple as trying to use your legs as a method of transportation (walking and biking instead of taking the Metro) or taking a yoga class once a week. And, actually, the point of getting in shape is not to get down to your birth weight, but to give you more body confidence. Size matters a lot less than how you carry yourself—we’ve posted a million times about how guys can’t tell the difference between a size 2 and a size 6, and don’t care if you seem like you’re into it.

It’s also important to realize that curvy hips and thighs are like catnip to most guys. It’s probably a biological thing (it makes you look more fertile/better at bearing children). If you’ve got it, flaunt it with tight jeans (NOT leggings, which give even the most toned women camel toe) instead of covering it up with baggy sweaters.

Carry yourself well. That means good posture at all times—shoulders back, chin up, chest out. When you walk, let the movement emanate from your hips. Buy a good push-up bra, and wear it. Practice composure—don’t fidget with your fingers, bite your nails, or play with your hair.

When you’re shopping, opt for flattering clothes over trendy styles. Throw away your Uggs and invest in a good pair of heels you can actually walk in. The heel should be thin, not chunky, and if you’re really teetering, go for boots—they’re easier.

Skirts and dresses always make you look more feminine and hide the areas where unwanted fat tends to hang out (like your lower abdomen). A good pair of black tights will elongate your legs and make them look thin (as will the heels).

Start taking care of your skin. This means investing in high-quality cleanser, toner, and moisturizer—probably a step up from what you’d find at a drug store. Get someone you trust to pick out the best makeup for your coloring. Your friend who always looks naturally flawless is probably the best option—chances are, she’s wearing three layers of foundation. If none of your friends has an entire closet devoted to beauty products, go to a makeup counter at a department store. Avoid Sephora—the “cosmetic specialists” there seem to have minimal training and maximal interest in blue eye shadow.

Get up early and start actually getting dressed in the morning. Shave your legs—even if no one’s going to see them. Put on makeup and floss. Again, this is less about how you look and more about how you carry yourself when you know your legs are a smooth as a newborn baby’s.

At the end of the day, looking sexy is a lot of work, and for some people, it might not be worth the investment.

But if you’re with us so far, come back tomorrow (and the day after) for more tips on projecting a sensual, sexual persona.