Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Few Words on Lubrication

Our friend recently started dating a guy who’s much bigger than her previous boyfriends.

Sex becomes painful when she has it every day, but because they’re still in the bone-on-site stage of their relationship, she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

When we mentioned lube, she told us that they’d tried that. “He uses a lot of spit,” she explained.

“Well,” we said, “there’s your problem.”

Remember when you got chapped lips as a kid and your mom forbid you from licking them? It felt so good that you didn’t believe her when she said it’d hurt more later.

Saliva dries out your skin, which is why chapped lips get worse when you lick them. The same is true for your vagina. Spit might feel like a good lubricant when it’s wet, but when it dries, you loose moisture too.

That’s why it might be easy for him to get it in, but painful for you five minutes later.

If you’re having problems with lubrication, you should really invest in a gentle lube. Water-based lubricants, like KY jelly, are mild on the skin, and if you’re too embarrassed to ask a pharmacist to ring that up, baby oil works too (although the smell isn’t exactly sensual).

Be careful, though: any lubricants with added ingredients can irritate your skin, and you’re dealing with one of the most sensitive parts of your body. If you want to try something that promises any sort of “sensation” (e.g., warming sensation, extended pleasure), you might want to test it ahead of time. Rub a tiny bit on your vagina, and if it starts to burn, jump in the shower.

The bottom line is: most of us have a hard time accommodating large penises, and it takes a while to adjust to regular sex after a dry spell. The vagina is, after all, a muscle. Don’t be afraid to ask for lube, and don’t be shy about forbidding him from using saliva. It’s better for both of you in the long run.


  1. A very important point that I think you should make note of in your blog: while baby oil does provide lubrication, the oil reacts with latex condoms and causes them to break down, putting a couple at risk for STIs and pregnancy. When using latex condoms, only water-based lubricants should be used. I encourage you to caution your friend (and other readers) about this critical information.

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