Sex Tips for a Snowy Weekend

Well, DC readers, it looks like we’re all going to be snowed in this weekend. (And we’d like to take this opportunity to push our own picks for the snowstorm name: Snowbamanation and Snowfair—as in, it’s snowfair that it only snows on the weekend in DC.)

To make the boredom a little more bearable, we thought we’d give you some sex tips to help pass the time.

To get you off:

We’ve talked about this before, but clitoral stimulation is the most effective way to get off through intercourse.

But this is easier said than done, especially in the more vanilla sex positions (e.g., missionary, girl on top).

We already mentioned one position that stimulates your clit through penetration.

But if you’re more into guy-on-top, here’s another position you can try.

Let your guy get on top and get inside of you, then close your legs tightly. Have the guy move sideways so that his head’s to the left of yours and his feet are to the right of yours (or vice-versa). Your bodies should look like an X to a fly on the ceiling.

Then have the guy move forwards and backwards slowly, instead of the more traditional in-and-out motion. The key is to stimulate your clit, not to get as deep inside of you as he can. This one can take some time to adjust, but once you get it right, there’s a lot of clitoral contact.

To get him off:

Variety adds spice to any sex life, and the more unexpected and original you can make it, the better.

Getting naked and jumping in to bed is great, but it’s pretty standard, as far as sex goes.

To drive him wild, try imitating action in an unexpected locale—the living room, the kitchen, the basement. Don’t say, “I have a surprise for you waiting downstairs.” Instead, take him downstairs, and ask him to help you carry out the trash. Wait until you’re in the middle of something, and then grab him like you couldn’t control yourself. Don’t take off your clothes—instead, move them to the side, and only remove what’s absolutely necessary.

Another thing that seems to really get guys off: answering your phone during sex. It sounds weird, but try this:

The next time your phone rings, get on all fours and tell him you have to take it. But let him do you from behind while you’re talking. Don’t let the conversation go on for two long, but the naughty, subversive nature of your behavior will definitely turn him on.

Let us know how it goes at datethedistrict@gmail.com.

Sex Tips: Eye Contact

Every girl wants to feel like she’s amazing in bed.

Even though we firmly believe that you’re there to please yourself, not your man, we understand that the competitive spirit that dominates our lives makes us want to feel like we’re number 1 at all times.

And because performance anxiety makes some girls so nervous that they can’t enjoy sex, we’re willing to share a few secrets to male pleasure so you can be so confident enough in the boudoir to enjoy yourself at all times.

Today’s tip: unexpected eye contact.

This is less of a go-to move and more of an icing-on-the-cake to pull out (no pun intended) every once in a while.

Guys see eye contact as a sign of enthusiasm, and, like we’ve said before, enthusiasm is the number one thing that turns guys on in bed. When you lock eyes mid-coitus, it makes it seem like you’re so focused on how good it feels that you’re not thinking about anything else.

This is especially effective with blowjobs. Most guys know that blowjobs aren’t a girl’s favorite pastime. But the more enthusiastic you seem, the more they enjoy it. It’s hard to moan when your mouth is focused on other things, but staring into his eyes is an easy way to make him feel like you’re getting off by getting him off.

Locking eyes is also a turn-on in unexpected positions. Try turning around and making eye contact during doggy style or reverse cowgirl. He won’t be expecting it, and that further validation will send him over the edge.

But be careful: this trick is easy to abuse. Too much eye contact gets creepy, especially in plain-vanilla positions where eye contact is kind of inevitable. Don’t stare at him too much if he’s on top (missionary-style) or if you’re on top in cowgirl. That kind of eye contact could make him feel uncomfortable, the way you start to squirm when someone stares directly at you throughout an entire two-hour meeting.

We’re taking off early for New Year’s. See you all next week!

The Girl's Guide to Getting Off: In Bed

Coming is easier for guys.

It’s not fair, but it’s true. It probably has something to do with social constructs: the fact that it’s more socially acceptable for guys to jerk off and to start masturbating at a younger age. It might also have something to do with the fact that a male orgasm is necessary from an evolutionary standpoint. A woman doesn’t have to come to make a baby. A guy does.

It often takes women longer to learn how to have an orgasm. And when they do finally figure out what gets them off, they can’t always climax during coitus.

Some girls expect to orgasm the first time they have sex. And some do, but, for the rest of us, it doesn’t come that easily.

Maybe you’ve never had an orgasm before. Maybe you can only have one when it’s just you and your vibrator. Maybe you only come when a guy goes down on you. And maybe you come from just thinking about sex and have no idea what we’re talking about.

The fact is (and we know you’ve heard this a million times), it’s all normal. Orgasming is much more of a (for lack of a better word) skill that takes some women longer to learn.

And it really is something you have to teach yourself how to do. There’s no magic do-this-and-you-will-orgasm-every-time technique. It takes a lot of experimenting to find a way to reach climax with a partner. And it takes even more work to orgasm from plain vanilla penis-in-vagina sex.

Why do we bring this up? Because the more we talk to women about sex, the more we realize that there are a lot of post-pubescent women who’ve never even had an orgasm. Or they’re not sure if they have. Or they want to have them more regularly, or from sex, or on their own.

This is something that’s not always easy to talk about with friends. And it’s not something that’s easily cured by masturbation, no matter how many virgin sex columnists write their first column about how “outraged” they are that female masturbation is such a taboo subject, and the fact that they masturbate all the time (and are in fact probably masturbating to their own perceived profundity while writing said clichéd column), and how every girl’s sexual problems would all be solved if she simply had the courage to introduce herself to everyone she met by saying, “Hi, I’m Jane, and don’t worry about shaking my hand, because I always wash them after my frequent masturbation sessions.”

If that gets you off, great. But if it doesn’t, and you’re looking for ways to amp up your orgasms, read on. We’re going to talk a lot about orgasms a lot in the upcoming weeks, but today, we’re going to talk about girls who know how to orgasm but have trouble climaxing from intercourse alone.

First, figure out what does get you off. What’s the quickest, easiest way for you to come? Whatever that is, try to incorporate it into intercourse.

Maybe your nipples are the key to peak arousal. Maybe you get off when a guy strokes your inner thighs. Either stimulate those areas yourself during sex, or ask your partner to do it for you.

This is where some girls start to feel shy. They think a guy will be turned off if he finds out that they have foot fetishes or like getting a finger in their back doors.

But here’s what they don’t know: guys love it when their partners get off.

For guys, orgasms are a pretty regular occurrence. Most guys that we know jerk off at least a few times a week, some do it daily. They pretty much have a routine down and can get off fast. And while the sensation might be different in a mouth or a vagina, at the end of the day, an orgasm is an orgasm.

So why are guys obsessed with sex? For them, it’s less about the orgasm, which they can get whenever they want, and more about the other things that come with sex: namely, getting to see a real live naked girl, and feeling sexually desired.

Guys can’t make themselves feel sexually desired with their hands. And that’s why the love it when girls are really into doing them, because it’s the one part of sex you really can’t fake. Every guy wants to feel like he’s amazing in bed, and the louder you are, the more he can believe he’s a sex god.

So if you know something that’ll work for you, don’t be shy. Don’t say, “Um, so, I was wondering if you could, like, finger me while we’re doing it.” Instead, provide clear directions, and say something like, “You know, if you rub my clit while I’m fucking you, it’ll really make me scream.”

Of course, some of these conversations will feel more natural if you wait till you’re in the middle of the act. You’re both hot and bothered, your inhibitions are lowered, and most guys get turned on when women are assertive in bed.

But if you don’t know what works for you, here’s a hint: clitoral stimulation.

For most girls, the clitoris is the shortest path to orgasm. The problem is, standard positions (like missionary, girl on top, reverse cowgirl, etc.) usually don’t do anything for this sexual organ.

If you can find a way to stimulate your clitoris during penetration, you have a better chance of having an orgasm.

Women’s magazines always ntell you that if you rub your clitoris during sex, you’ll come. That works for some people, but it’s not a guarantee.

Here’s a trick one of our friends taught us: if you get on top and lean really far forward (so that you’re almost lying on top of your partner), you can rub your clitoris up against his penis as you’re moving up and down the shaft. It takes some positioning, and you may have to hold the lips of your vagina apart to make sure you’re getting full contact, but once you’re set up, the sensation is similar to what you’d feel if you were grinding up against him in a naked make-out (only more intense).

We’ll share a few more easy-to-orgasm positions later this week. But let us know if this one works for you at datethedistrict@gmail.com.