Survey the District: New Year's Dilemma

Dear Date the District,

Ok, so here's my conundrum for New Year's Eve. Two friends that happen to be attractive women are coming to visit over New Year's Eve. I told one of these girls that I'm attracted to her. She was 'shocked', 'didn't know what to say' at that time, etc. This happened three months ago. Now, I'm involved with someone around the area. Definitely not exclusive, but she's starting to get attached.

I don't think I could nor want to spend NYE with all three. Then again, nothing may ever come of me and this friend visiting. What do I do?

Anonymous

We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when you tell someone you have feelings for her and she tells you she’s “shocked” and speechless, it’s usually not a good sign.

It’s probably not worth wasting too much time on this girl. Even if she was interested, when you start out as long distance, you’re usually don’t get very far. Why waste your time pining over someone who’s a train ride away when it sounds like you’ve got something within walking distance?

On to your New Year’s problem: why are you so afraid to put these women in the same room? It sounds like the second friend doesn’t even know that she’s your third-favorite crush, and your new hook-up shouldn’t know about your out-of-town dream girl (unless you told her).

Causing drama and/or acknowledging the awkwardness are the two worst things you can do in this situation. Even if it is awkward, you’re the only one who feels it.

If you call this not-so-mysterious visitor and say something like, “Hey, I just wanted to know that I’m seeing someone, and now you’re coming, and I don’t know what to do!”, it’s gonna be a major turnoff. Most girls aren’t attracted to guys who seem like they’re not in control or emotional basket cases.

On the other hand, if you e-mail her and say something like, “Hey, my date for New Year’s suggested that we do X, what do you think?”, you’ll eliminate a lot of the “What ifs?”

Even if you’re trying to seduce these two “friends,” the best way to do that is to appear unavailable. And you’ll definitely send that message if you show up with a date.

But we’re guessing that seduction is a lost cause at this point, at least with girl number one. If she’s known your intentions for three months and hasn’t done anything about it, she’s given you a pretty good indication of how she feels.

Whatever you do, don’t hit on the other two girls if you all end up at the same party. It’s only going to piss off the new girl and make the other two really uncomfortable (and really turned off), leaving you with no one to kiss at midnight. There’s nothing worse than listening to tired clichés about how beautiful you look and how well you two would work together, especially after you’ve told a guy that you’re not interested. That kind of stuff only works in the movies, and if you’re still taking cues from chick flicks, we have bigger problems.

And if you get there and realize that the sight of all three girls at the same table makes you really uncomfortable, drink up. You have all New Year’s Day to sleep off the hangover.