Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Survey the District: Why Do Guys Lie for a One-Night Stand

Dear date the district,
I am a college senior and throughout my experience in the college hook up culture, I've found that pretty much all the guys I hook up with always feed me the same line in bed.  They usually say I really like you or something along those lines.  It infuriates me because in most cases its a one night stand and we both don't know each other.  It's an outright lie.  And its not like they are saying it to get what they want...they are in bed-they've got it.  Why do they always use this line? It's not a matter of hurt feelings or emotions but of annoyance.  Any ideas?

You say it’s not hurt feelings, but it kind of is. At the very least, it’s upsetting to realize that someone is lying to your face and infuriating when you’re cognizant of the fact that someone’s trying to manipulate you.

Why are they saying these sweet nothings? Who knows. And honestly, does it change anything?

When you’re having one-night stands, your partner might as well be speaking a foreign language. You have no way of knowing what he means, but his intentions will usually be something along the lines of, have sex, keep in touch if he feels like it.

With a one-night stand, you’re there for the sex, and lies come with the territory. So don’t do it unless your sole intention is to get laid—and if you’re just after the physical stuff, why do you care what he says?

If the lies are upsetting, you might want to reconsider how comfortable you are with casual sex.

Anonymous sex really hits the spot every once in a while. But sometimes you’re after something more, and that’s when you start noticing everything a one-night stand isn’t.

It’s not companionship, it’s not love, it might not even be a crush. And if those things are bothering you, it’s probably indicative of something more.

If you’re looking for a relationship, one-night stands aren’t the first step. This can be a common misconception, especially in college, where casual hookups do sometimes turn into something more.

But more often than not, they don’t. People don’t go to Wal-Mart when they’re looking to buy a new Louis Vuitton, and in the same way, guys don’t go prowling for commitment-free sex when they’re looking for a girlfriend.
But if you’re really just upset about being lied to, just don’t encourage it. Don’t respond when he feeds you lines, and kick him out when it’s over. Give him a taste of his own medicine. 

1 comment:

  1. Maybe they are just caught up in the moment, instead of outright lying to you?