Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Changing Venues

After yesterday’s post, a few people asked what you should do if a guy proposes a comedy club, concert, or other less-than-desirable location for a first date.

You’re better off saying something, but blame it on logistics.

When he says, “I have an extra ticket to Metallica Tuesday night,” say, “Ahh I have an LSAT class Tuesday—want to get dinner Wednesday instead?” That way you nix the concert AND switch to a better venue, and he thinks it’s just a scheduling issue.

Or if his invitation is locale-specific (i.e., he tells you he’s been dying to check out a new comedy club), tell him that part of town’s no good for you. Say something like, “It takes me forever to get through Georgetown after work/I really hate switching at Metro Center after 5—want to get a drink at Domaso in Rosslyn instead?”

The key is to replace his suggestion with concrete plans. If you just tell him you can’t do the Metallica concert on Wednesday, he might suggest a cover band on Thursday, and if you’re trying to avoid live music, you’re still in the same position.


  1. I'm not sure what's so bad about being honest. "I look forward to meeting you, but I find conversation difficult at a loud rock club. Could we maybe go to Lounge [X]?"

    If you shoot down all his suggestions without offering alternatives, it's one thing - but the right guy will be able to go with the flow. I'm a long way away from single, but if I was I would probably think someone who can't change trains after 5 pm is a bit too dippy for me.

  2. I gotta co-sign Shannon's advice.

    Some very worthwhile gentleman are dumb as a sack of hammers when it comes to some things. Thus, it is reasonable to think, as your post suggests, that the selection of a "first date inappropriate" location, is not a wholly sufficient reason not to go on said first date. However, a man who is not adult enough to recognize that his suggestion has been found wanting for good cause and graciously accept an alternative, is not a man worth pursuing in my mind.

  3. or, you could just marry the guy that has actual tickets for metallica.