Monday, December 6, 2010

Holiday Dating

One of our friends is going on a holiday dating hiatus. She’s locked her OK Cupid account until New Year’s and she’s postponing dates until after the ball drops.

When she first mentioned this to us, we were skeptical. It seemed arbitrary, and arbitrary rules are never the best way to make the most of a dating scene.

But then she explained her rationale. Holidays come with certain expectations for couples: awkward office parties, gift exchanges, dinner with his family. It’s tricky enough when you’ve been dating for a while, but when you’re still in the getting to know you stages, it can put a lot of pressure on both people (and the relationship).

Should he invite you to the holiday party? And if he does, how will he introduce you to his boss? Does he need to buy you a present? Are you going to buy him one? If he brings you home, will his mom get off his case? Will it freak you out if he asks?

If you meet a great guy at your friend’s ugly Christmas sweat party, we’re not saying you should tell him to call you after New Year’s.

But, if you’re like most people, this is probably the busiest time of your year. So if he calls you for a second date and you have to finish shopping, don’t be afraid to say so.

Don’t feel like you need to squeeze in too many first dates with a new person. If you space out your dates, there won’t be any ambiguity. He won’t show up with a gift, and you won’t obsess over what you need to get him.   

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