Monday, April 19, 2010
We’ve talked a lot about how guys get off from feeling sexually competent. But women aren’t immune to sexual narcissism, and it’s a lot easier for us to feed those cravings. We never have to worry about whether a guy faked an orgasm, and men generally approach sex with an abundance of enthusiasm, which is easy to credit to our own performance.
The fact is, the more confident you feel during sex, the better you’ll be in bed. Like we’ve said beforethe number one turn-on for guys is enthusiasm, and shyness/timidity don’t make you look eager.
One way to build confidence is to feed your inner narcissist. There’s a certain thrill that comes with watching yourself engage in intercourse, and it helps with body confidence too.
To start channeling your inner porn star, add a mirror.
If you’ve never tried this before, take baby steps. You don’t have to rearrange your bedroom, but angle your bed or open your closet door so that you can see your own reflection from certain spots on your bed.
If you’re nervous, set it up ahead of time. But if you want to make this even more of a turn-on, wait until you’re mid-coitus to say something like, “Hang on—I really wanna watch this.”
Don’t focus all your attention on the mirror. But sneak a peek every once in a while when you’re feeling super sexy.
Try getting on top and arching your back. A curved back makes you look ten pounds thinner, and no girl can resist a flattering angle.
If the reflection starts freaking you out, reposition yourself so you can’t see it. But try again a few minutes later. The more you’re able to enjoy the view, the harder it is for your inner critic to ruin the moment.
Don’t worry about any jiggling skin—this happens to everyone, even super models.
If you’re up for it, try watching porn ahead of time (Spankwire and Pornhub are good places for beginners to start). It’ll give you a good idea of what turns guys on, and you’ll see how close to “normal” that is (especially in terms of body fat).
The more you can enjoy watching yourself have sex, the easier it’ll be to convince guys that you’re great in bed.