Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Stripper Question

Recently, one of our friend’s moms got drunk and spilled some secrets about her wild and crazy youth in Canada.

We would be remiss if we didn’t share one of them with you, loyal readers.

Back in the day, this mom (we’ll call her Abby) was friends with a guy whose parents owned a bunch of strip clubs in Ontario. She’d never been to a strip club before (she was, we think, the only person in Canada at the time with this distinction), so her friend convinced her to visit one of his parent’s “business establishments” one night.

Abby noticed that 9 out of 10 girls were smokin’ hot. But the other 10 percent, were, well, cute, but not knockouts.

She asked her friend about this, and explained that those are the most important girls. Guys like to see hot women dance around buck naked, but they always see those women as completely unattainable.

The meh girls, however, seem more attainable, and, as a result, they’re a more attainable fantasy. Guys can fantasize about the girls who don’t seem like a perfect 10 because it’s easier for them to believe that these girls would actually want to have sex with them. They’ll throw much more money at these girls because the fantasy becomes so real to them, and they forget that strippers don’t go home with you at the end of the night.

We’re not saying you should all go out and get part-time jobs at The House.

But we do think “normal” women tend to be very intimidated by the few supermodels who walk among us. And while those girls probably do get the most attention, the guys who go after them are like the kids who apply to Harvard with a 1200 on their SATs. It’s worth a shot in the dark for such a big payoff, but you go into knowing it’s probably not going to happen.

Most guys are also beyond intimidated by the idea of sleeping with one of these Sports Illustrated pinups. One of our friends actually broke up with a girl because, “I felt like I was having sex with a porn star.” And while that may sound sexy at first, it quickly leads to performance anxiety and feelings of self-doubt.

You want to be an attainable fantasy. That doesn’t mean you should go out in sweatpants, but it does mean you shouldn’t wear a baggy t-shirt to happy hour because you’re worried people will notice that you lost your 3 p.m. battle with the vending machine.


  1. I think you underestimate men in some ways. While most men would like to date that hot chick, most men really date, and marry, a woman with far less "smokin hot" and far more to offer. Men realize that women come in all shapes and no one wants a woman who will be skinny up to the moment that the preacher pronounces and then gains 40 pounds at the wedding reception. Be yourself and the men will find you.

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  3. Chuck Simmins,

    I think you overestimate men.

  4. ...but do you really want to date/marry a guy who feels like he's settling? If he has performance issues and self-doubt because he attained someone out of his pay grade, then he needs his head checked anyhow.

  5. Just like the most beautiful girl in high school never having a date because the guys are afraid to ask her out. Thankfully, I never had that problem.