The other day, a reader sent us this Huffington Post article: Why Do Smart Women Have the Toughest Time Dating.
It’s a good read, especially for the overly ambitious DC types, but the author leaves out one important trap smart women sometimes fall into the dating world: faking dumb.
It goes something like this: a woman thinks that men are more attracted to dumb bimbos, or she’s worried about scaring off a date with a less impressive resume, so she puts on this fake ditzy persona every time she goes out with a guy.
Why do women do this? Because they always see their attractive, successful male coworkers show up to the holiday party with Bambi, the personal trainer.
And while a lot of guys do date women who are more attractive than they are intelligent, when smart women get frustrated and decide it’s time to be more like the hot, dumb women who get ass, the smart women pick the wrong trait to emulate.
Guys like these women because they’re hot, not because they’re dumb. The unintelligence is the (minor) downside, it’s not the thing they’re attracted to.
Faking dumb isn’t going to attract a man. That’s like a guy watching Twilight and thinking it’s the fangs that make Robert Pattinson so irresistible to women.
What’s worse, faking dumb could hurt your chances of a relationship.
Remember, for a lot of guys, relationships and sex are two different things. The former requires putting in work, the latter delivers pleasure in its purest form.
When a guy wants sex, all he needs is a vagina. But when he wants a relationship, he needs a little bit more.
So if you pretend to have less, you’re not going to fall into the “relationship” category. Why would he invest time and energy in someone who can’t hold an intelligent conversation?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
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This is a really great point. The thing is...the men that are walking around with Bambi on their arm are men you don't want anyway! Let them have their toy...you'll be out attracting good men of depth with your intelligence and life experience. There are tons out there waiting for you.
ReplyDeleteI'd also point out that a lot of these "why don't men like smart women" types are forgetting that men aren't turned off by smarts. They're turned off by bad personality traits (as women are as well). And it's not a great personality trait to go around thinking you're smart and perfect and if someone doesn't like you it's because they're intimidated by your intelligence. Smart guys with poor social skills have the same problem!
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